
I gotta tell you a little something about yourselfĪh yes. Things start to go south right from the very beginning: Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby "Children, have I ever told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time we met?" Photo by Jacobsen/Getty Images. But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.īut, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:Įverything about "Treasure" is retro. Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta be done before you can do anything else. One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. "Yeah! Hell yeah! What was her name again?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration. Sure, God may only know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship - one that, by definition, might one day end - is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"Īh well. There's a huge difference between saying: "Hey babe, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, so I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."īut that's pretty much the gist here. "Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house, smoking a cigarette." Photo by .īut there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear. There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Here's why it's actually really, really unromantic: A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it's at. You can keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas." Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and one song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is: 1. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And 50 hours of community service later, you're still not back together. That time you held that boom box over your head outside your ex's house? You did that because of a love song.
